Kids With Guns

So I have this other roommate, named Brittany, but she isn't nearly as fun to write about as Anne. Brittany is sweet. She looks like Katie Couric and everything she does is sweet. She has a very steady boyfriend, named Ned, who lives in Hoboken, and is equally as sweet. She's so sweet that after I helped edit her essays for grad school, she made me a batch of brownies. So sweet was this act, that she burned them a little bit, just because she knows I like slightly burnt brownies.

Anyway, Brittany is what you might call a homebody. She loves TV and she watches a lot of it. I try to bond with her by watching a TV show together about once a week. This worked well until Project Runway went into its off-season. Since then, we have run through the gamut of mindless programming. There was that mother swapping show, unethical; Desperate Housewives, unsavory; and 24, unsettling.

She LOVES the OC, so I tried that one out for a while. During my second episode, I jumped up from the couch, ran into the kitchen, and poured myself a glass of Brita-filtered water. I couldn't take it anymore. Why are all of those kids so blonde and stupid and why do they always throw fancy banquets and where do they get all those guns?? Those are absolutely the most dim-witted kids I've ever seen.

We finally made a compromise on this television show called House. The writing for this show is pretty mediocre (it's not Doctor Who) and it's kind of a rip-off of ER and CSI. But to me, it has all of the components for a quality thirty minutes: it's gory and bizarre and the leading characters are easy on the eyes and, evidently, quite learned. Also, the drama is kept to a minimum, because the characters never allow their interpersonal relationships to interfere with their work. So if you miss one or two episodes, you're not left out on your ass for the entire season. Mainly, though, I have developed the strangest attraction to Dr. House. Dr. House is sooooo sooo sexy! I mean, he's sexy for an older, pompous, pill-popping gimp. And I really want to do it with Dr. House, Jane Fonda&Jon Voight/Coming Home style. Totally.