Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Everything In a Name

My name is Toby Shuster and I am not a writer. Nor have I ever done anything particularly noteworthy. Yet I feel, with the amount of time I’ve spent on Google, that I would like a proper place within the province of Google.

All that emerges when you Google 'Toby Shuster' is 'Toby Shuster's Bed and Breakfast', in Jerusalem.


A couple months ago, I e-mailed Toby Shuster, in Jerusalem, saying something along the lines of, “Hi, Toby Shuster, I’m Toby Shuster! What are the chances, eh?”

She never replied, even though her slogan reads: "There are no strangers here, only friends we have not met..."

I forgive you, Toby Shuster, of Jerusalem. While it does seem odd that you do not actually provide breakfast at your bed and breakfast, running your own B&B is very time-consuming, I'm sure.

It appears as though I have little to nothing in common with Toby Shuster of Jerusalem. We have the same name and dark brown hair. That is all.

Once, I spent a year in England, where I soon discovered that the first half of my name is a sham. The Brits were incredulous that a girl could be named Toby: "What's your real name? Don't you know that you have a boy's name and you are a girl?"

I guess the only logical explanation for having a traditionally male name stems from my parents' fondness for the name. Likewise, they probably thought that giving me the ultra feminine middle name, Rose, would counterbalance the masculinity of my first name.

When I moved to New York, in October, I almost lived with this pet artist.

Above the bed, that I almost slept in, was a portrait of this deceased dog:

his name is Toby.

Things didn't work out with the pet artist. It's probably better that way, as I am not much of a "pet person" and while I do appreciate the illustrative value of Ms. Zador's work, I think that in the long run, sleeping beneath one of her portraits would have driven me to insanity.

ANYWAY, I want to reclaim my name on Google, hence the blog.

And so it goes: Another blog, written by a twenty-something girl, who just moved to New York and wants to see as much as she possibly can, in order to make up for the 40 hours a week spent on the computer.

Isn't this exactly what the Internet needs right now, to really clog up the cyber waves, just like cholesterol?