Life On Earth

Per our bartering agreement, I spent a great chunk of my week at Apollo’s store, ironing out the kinks in his manuscript. There is quite the rotating cast of characters, in that little shop, my favorite of whom is Macki Star.

I’m not sure what exactly Macki Star’s purpose is in New York, but she is in town for the summer, from London, reveling around the city as a bright young thing, and she seems to have gotten the hang of it so far. About five hours after she arrived from London, she wandered into Apollo’s store and dropped $700 on a garden variety of designer items. This is an estimated figure because between the three of us, we couldn’t quite determine the current ratio of pounds to dollars, so Macki gave (or did Apollo take?) a blend of dollars and pounds. She is so SPECIAL that Apollo didn’t seem to mind the mixed currency.

Much later that night, I received an e-mail from her:

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HEY GIRL !!! (thats quite american no?!!)
GRRRRRREAT TO MEET YOU AND AGAIN LEANING OVER MY ROOF, I NEARLY FELL OFF!!HAHAHA WE MUST HAVE WINE AND BBQS UP HERE SERRROUSLY IT’S BEAUTIFUL!!!!!1 I FEEL SO SICK ABOUT SPENDING $700 TODAY, TALK ABOUT PEER PRESSURE HUH!!! NO I LOVE APOLLO DEARLY BUT I KINDDA LOST MY MIND IN THE SHOP AND NOW IM SITTING HERE IN MY FLAT AND IM LIKE ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CANT EAT FOR THE REST OF MY TIME HERE HEHEH
BIG SMOOOOOOCH
MACKI STAR****************XXXX
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Now, let’s look at this gem: “HAHAHA WE MUST HAVE WINE AND BBQS UP HERE SERRROUSLY IT’S BEAUTIFUL!!!!!1”

Because out of all the typos in all the world, my most beloved is the instance wherein an exclamation point is substituted by the number one. It's a shame that you so rarely get to see this typo, really it is. It’s like Macki was so wound up, that she just let it rip on the keyboard and couldn’t be bothered by that parasitical number one. Why would she? And that’s how Macki speaks, too: She SHOUTS AT YOU, LIKE YOU’RE AT A REALLY LOUD SHOW AND YOU JUST SAID, “WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

Now I can’t wait to introduce Lucy to Macki, bringing the Scottish and the English together, right here in this little melting pot of New York.